Feels like a while since I’ve written a blog. I’ve been crazy busy slaving over my dissertation all about body image, I’ll share a blog with you on this after I’ve finished!
So lately, probably because I’ve been working a lot and feeling incredibly stressed, I’ve been having a terrible time with my anxiety. I’ve had this on an off for a while now along with struggling with really low moods. I know this is depression but saying that term seems so scary and final when really it’s something I, and so many people, deal with in waves.
Personally I get low periods of finding it incredibly difficult to motivate myself, I become very paranoid- worried that everyone’s sick of me or massively overthinking casual conversation or encounters, I struggle in groups of people and can get panic attacks and get incredibly anxious over my appearance. This is so different to what I’m like when I’m at my best, I love to be in groups laughing and I’m happy to tell stories and be the focus of the group, I love dressing up wearing loud prints and outfits and a lot of the time I’m incredibly confident and proud of who I am.
I’m terrible at talking about this to people. I always worry people will think I’m a drama queen, not nearly as ill as others or that I’ll be super emotional and not be able to explain myself properly. Luckily I have a ridiculously kind boyfriend who understands how to help people who feel vulnerable in a way I’ve never seen before .
My biggest worry of mental health is a lack of understanding. So many people have it and this becomes apparent when you actually discuss it. More open conversation, teaching and understanding would help people identify and address these issues in others and in themselves.
Sometimes it’s not people being rude or standoffish it’s someone really struggling to get by and realise just how fantastic they are